Step After Step
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: Step after step, I get led nearer and nearer to you. When will we finally merge? .:. NaruGaa/GaaNaru, canonverse, mini-fic. In multiPOV since I'm tired of my usual third person or ominscent view. Rated M for smuttyness. Now complete, I suppose.
1. Step One

**A/N: I was writing this during school. It's pretty random. But oh, why can't I get this pairing out of my head? I really need to write that AllenXLavi(Rabi) oneshot I've been promising myself. And maybe another HiroShu. Or hell, more AkuRoku! Just not all this NaruGaa… I swear, I feel like a mindless yaoi drone. (sweatdrop)**

**Oh, and this **_**IS**_** a mini-ficlet, so it will have more than only this chapter. so if you like this, be sure to add it to your watch list, since it will be updated at one point! But don't expect some forty-chaptered fic like DB. I said "mini" and not "major", m'kay? X3**

* * *

_Gaara's POV_

I try to calculate what it would take to mentally shut down. I'm thinking far too much yet again. I should really learn to live in the moment and not sort out every minor detail. Some things don't need to be thought through or explained; some things simply _are_.

Like the feeling I get when I'm around him; I should cease my endless questioning of it's origins and reasons and accept that it merely _is_. I don't understand it, which bothers me; as often as I contemplate why these feelings could be, I still have no answer. My sister attempted to explain it on more than one occasion to me, but she doesn't know what emotions I'm suppressing, not truly. She can't understand or help me to reason them.

And I've given up the first time with asking my brother, which was a horrible mistake. Unlike my sister whom I credit for the effort and desire to try and help me, Kankurou didn't give me any useful knowledge whatsoever. Instead, he ended up giving me this vast sex talk about dozens things I couldn't even fathom. He also mentioned and explained things I never wanted to know, let alone wanted to hear coming from his mouth. Perhaps he thought I was the appropriate age to finally know certain things… how wrong he was. I may be nearing sixteen, and I may be more human now that my demon is gone, but I am no where near ready to participate in such activities.

Yet here I am, wrapped up in the arms of the cause of this mess, the exact 'him' I mentioned previously. In this mind-racing moment, his lips are overlapping mine and shaping around them, the combined moisture making puckering noises between us.

I'm trying not to think and simply _move,_ but I'm failing horribly thus far. It's as if both my mind and emotions (not to mention parts of my body that Kankurou so 'nicely' explained), are triggered in the oddest ways when he's near, and worse, when he's touching me.

I can feel him even now; his hands are exploring the shape of my chest, sides, and back over my clothing. Vaguely, I decipher that the careful movements show that he's itching to remove the fabric, but I'm much too stubborn (if not a bit shy) to allow him. He can wait; if he's waited this long to make any sort of move, what's a bit longer?

"Gaara," he mumbles into my mouth. The way he speaks my name… it's whispered, breathy, aching with need, and filled to the brim with a sort of deep warmth that perplexes me. What does he need? What is that warmth? Hopefully none of it is related to the things Kankurou was telling me about.

He breaks the kiss. He's breathing rapidly, his hands frozen from their movement, landing them on the small of my back and in my crimson hair. The hand on my head falls to my shoulder. I look up to his face, which has his eyes slowly opening. A soon as his gaze locks with mine, I find myself focusing hard on the blue depths, the combination of flawless iris design, open-book emotion, and intense color rendering me immobile.

"Relax, will you?" he says to me, his voice light and amused, no longer laced with so much crushing _need_ (which I suddenly realize is from his loneliness). "I promise I won't go too far if you don't want me to."

"Naruto," I respond calmly, my tone revealing that I'm willing to give in to his request. My face, I know, is as blank as ever, but the blonde has a talent for seeing passed my mask and into my soul through my eyes. He's the only one who can do that, and somehow it doesn't disturb me as much as it should.

To 'relax', I gingerly unclench my shaking fists. I lower them from their pressured place on Naruto's chest. My hands fall limp and numb to my sides, but Naruto is having none of that; he lifts them to his neck, and I tighten the grip on my own hands so they don't fall once more.

Smiling, he cups my chin. "Are you blushing?" he chuckles softly. He sounds amazed, as if it's impossible. It's not impossible; my complexion is so pale, I'm prone to plus like the Hyuuga girl. Only I rarely do because I'm never in the right circumstance.

I feel my face form the inside out, and find that there is indeed heat on my cheeks. I hadn't noticed until now, but it makes sense; I'm in the proper circumstance, aren't I?

I glance down, unsure of myself. How? How can he makes me feel so helpless with my own emotions? I hate it, yes have no choice.

He's having none of this either. Naruto tilts my head upwards and puts a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth. "Do you know why I'm doing this?"

Truth be told, I'm been making assumptions in the back on my mind over exactly that this whole time. I thought he liked that pink-haired medical nin, Sakura. And, from what I can tell, you only kiss and hold people you like (if they are not family). Hence, I've been asking myself silently: why is he kissing _me_?

"No, why?" I murmur. I note that my voice is lower than usual.

The kitsune's gaze appears warmer all of a sudden. A small glimmer in his cerulean orbs nearly resembles the sun reflected on the surface of a body of water. I blink twice. My heart drums in my chest, sending throbbing waves through my entire body, but I could feel it most in my fingertips and temples.

Naruto exhales slowly, his heated breath floating over my face as he prepares his answer. "I'm doing this because I couldn't take it anymore. Being lonely, I mean; I couldn't take that. And… I know that you're lonely, too, and I thought…" He drifts off for a moment, pulling away slightly. "I didn't – _couldn't_ – think of anyone else for a long time. You kept coming up to the front of my mind: what you look like, what you've been through (some of it I was with you for), the sound of your voice, your job title (since I've been pining for something similar for myself)…" He pauses. I can tell by the strain in his voice that the gears are turning in his head, struggling to verbalize what his reasoning is.

I cock my head slightly, indicating how puzzled I am. I lift a brow muscle, prodding him further.

Naruto smiles hazily. "It's been weird for me, dattebayo. Having all these thoughts and dreams late in the night when I can't sleep or am too deep in sleep to know reality from fantasy... they're all about you. And most of them are… well," he grins sheepishly, one hand scratching his cheek, "Let's just say those dreams and thoughts are things I should normally think of girls for." He shakes his head more to himself than me, his smile fading. He rakes a hand through his bight yellow spikes. "I had to beg the old hag just to come here on any lame mission I could to see you, I've been so obsessive. It's not like me. I feel like I'm losing my mind." He pauses a second time, blowing out air from his lightly tanned lips. "What I'm trying to say is: I think, all this time, I've been falling in love with you, Gaara."

I freeze. For once, my analytical mind is able to shut down. I can't even utter the single thought I do have: _What?!_

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

I wait patiently for him to react to my confession. Right now, he's just frozen in place, staring seemingly past me.

I chew on my lower lip. I can taste remnants of Gaara's spit on it. Mindlessly I lick it, scooping up all the rest of that taste. I dunno why, but I like it… I never thought I'd say this, but: I kissed a boy and I _liked_ it. Which is strange in itself, because that 'boy' is one of my comrades! Someone I've fought against, battled along side of, went into a Kyuubi rage for, cried over, and with Chiyo-baasama's help, I even gave part of my life for. Sure, I crushed on Sakura-chan for years, and she's one of my comrades – a teammate, in fact – but… this is different. _Gaara's _different. He's not some air headed girl or some weak thing, even if I feel like I have to protect him with all my being. No, he's different, because he was a Jinchuuriki, too. He knows what it's like, and he understands. And he _cares._ And, best of all, he's not afraid of me.

There's more to it, though… Gaara doesn't compare to Sakura for other reasons: he's capable, strong, and swarming with complexities I want to get to know. Because I know they're there; I know he's hiding everything inside himself… it's only a matter of time until I get to the bottom of it.

Slowly, painfully, I feel the redhead in front of me unfreeze and cast his eyes on my face. I inhale involuntarily – a sharp, tension-built sound – as I hold back the urge to bug him about his thoughts or say anything else in the silence. In my stomach, something squirms. I pretend it's not my nerves; instead, I think of it as Kyuubi waking from a nap.

"Naruto…" Gaara breathes, and I hate that he keeps saying my name in that manner. It makes me kind of tingly, which is weird, but somehow not unwelcome. He purses his lips in thought, but aside from that, I can't find any trace of emotion as I search his face. "How do you know?" he asks wearily.

How do I know? Know what? That I'm crazy for falling in love with one of my best friends? Because I know that's just plain fact. I'm not sane if I'm in love with another guy, I know that much; everything I thought about in the past lead to the conclusion that I was – am! – attracted to girls. So how this fits, I have no idea.

But he's actually asking how I know that I'm in love. As for that answer… well… uh… I dunno. I just _do_. This feeling I get, it's so strong; how can it **not** be love? And those dreams… I've never had dreams about anyone that, erm, vivid. Or wet. They're just echoes, though, of all the thoughts I try not to think during the day, and especially not while training. I'd be pretty embarrassing if I had to run for a cold shower out of the blue.

Besides, if I didn't love Gaara, then I suppose that means I don't know what the hell love is.

Hmm. Now, how to explain this to him?

Wait a second… I think I already know how.

"Gaara," I say, not choosing my words as carefully as I probably should, "If this isn't love that I feel for you, then you can kill me right now; because, otherwise… I don't know how to live without knowing what real love is."

Yeah, I'll admit, that was pretty stupid of me to say; I'm being too melodramatic. Plus, I doubt Gaara would ever kill me. I know he cares about me in his own way, even if he's pretty much deadpan all the time.

It takes a minute, but the young 'Kage seems satisfied with the answer, no matter how dumb it is. Part of me says, 'for now he's satisfied with it, but he'll pry for something better later on', but I ignore that part; it doesn't know what it's saying.

Being slow with my actions so he has a lesser chance of pulling away, I study Gaara with my eyes as attempt to bring him closer so we touch chest-to-chest. A look of comprehension flashes in his aqua orbs. Not feeling any flinching or resistance, I finish what I started and caress him. I breathe in the scent of his hair while speaking into his ear with a hushed voice. "Tell me," I demand sternly, "What are you feeling right now?"

Through his robes in our embrace, I feel his shoulders tense up. Without looking, I can picture the contorted expression that's probably leaking through the calm mask on Gaara's face. His heart thuds against my breast, making me realize that I should've known better than to ask him something like that. In retrospect, it hadn't been a very decent demand, because I doubt he even knows what, exactly, it is he's feeling. I wait for an answer anyhow, part of me hoping that I get proved wrong and Gaara does say something. But if he never answers, I don't care; at least he's letting me hold him. I'm betting that's a privilege even his siblings don't have.

"I… Naruto," he begins with a wavering voice, once again saying my name in _that way_. I hold back a pleasant shiver. "What if I cannot return your feelings?"

That stops me for a moment. I open my eyes and blink. I get it now: he's afraid. Gaara's afraid that I might do something irrational if he doesn't say, 'I love you, too'. In any other circumstance, or with any other person in the same circumstance, I probably would do something wild or stupid (or both). But…

I clear my throat. "If that's true, then I would keep my feelings to myself and stay your friend," I reply honestly. My heart aches thinking about it: never being able to kiss or touch intimately? That's a bit more than I can handle, but I'd pull through for his sake. I don't want Gaara pushed into anything he's not comfortable with. Because I never want to – or will – hurt him. Not in any way, shape, or form. That head-butt all those years ago had been the last time.

"You… would?" he questions.

I stroke his bright red hair and squeeze a bit tighter. "Yes, Gaara; I would."

His chin digs into my shoulder as he seemingly nuzzles me, and when he speaks a weird thing happens: his voice breaks. "In that case," Gaara's murmuring into my neck, the vibrations of his vocal cords and lips sending shivers down my spine, "I can safely say that I don't know what I feel. I have mixed emotions. But I want to love you. I want to be able to say that you hold my heart. I almost can; because when you're around, it doesn't hurt any longer."

Gaara's words seemed to have been spoken versions of thoughts he's had for a while now. Although the way his voice shook made me think twice. It's almost like he made it up on the spot.

I pull away enough to look my 'Kage friend in the eye. But his eyes are closed tightly, solid black being the only thing I see. He's shaking – hardly noticeably – as though he's nervous, his breathing coming faster than usual. That makes me worried for him. I rack my brain for things to say that will calm him, because I'd never forgive myself if he suddenly started crying. After all, I' the one who put him in this situation to begin with!

Something comes to mind, and I force a trembling smile. "I have a proposition for ya," I tell Gaara.

His eyes pry open and he blinks. His face fills with curiosity. My smile strengthens.

"We'll take things one step at a time, alright? That way you can figure stuff out and won't feel rushed, 'ttebayo," I compromise.

Gaara nods once. "Arigato," he mutters under his breath.

My chest puffs up with a small sense of pride in myself. I feel like I've accomplished something big. Reluctantly (since I could hold him all day), I release the redhead and give him a thumbs-up. "No problem."

But it was a problem. Taking things slow I guess I can do, but it might be hard for me. I have this odd craving for Gaara that's sometimes hard to suppress. Like, when I hold him: it feels like I'm pouring my heart into his chest and that our souls are touching. And the more I get of that feeling, the more I want to create. It could be the teenaged hormones (Ero-Sennin liked to school me on the differences between the birds and the bees and love), but the closer I am to Gaara physically the closer I want to get. It won't be long before I'm begging him to let me make love to him. That's the exact kind of body-and-soul mingling things I started to dream about and wake up uncomfortable because of.

Uhg, there I go again. I better stop before I do something idiotic.

So, still smiling faintly, I leave Gaara's office and head for the room I'm staying in at the Kazekage mansion. It's on the floor below this one, so I have some stairs to climb. I don't mind, though… as long as I'm within range of Gaara, I'm content. I didn't get that sort of feeling when I was still stuck in Konoha.


	2. Step Two

_Gaara's POV_

I can't say I like the amount of time Hokage Tsunade-sama allowed for Naruto to stay here; it's much less than I would like, merely a month.

Why must our world be so complicated and busy? Why must there be so many threats around us? It'd be nice if we could simply be people who are permitted to enjoy one another's company for as long as we like.

But no, it's not possible. The Akatsuki may have half it's members deceased, and Orochimaru may be gone, but Uchiha Sasuke is the newest problem. He's formulated a team for himself, and killed his brother, who could have been one of our only hopes to stop the raven-haired bastard. I never liked him; as great of friends as I've become with many of the shinobi of Konoha, he is not among them. I fought against him and wanted to kill him, and even now that is still my goal. Even Naruto, Sasuke's best friend, is furious with him. But Naruto has hope, so I'm unable to end the Uchiha's life. I would if I still had all the chakra I used to; I know for a fact Shukaku had mentioned quite a few wonderfully disgusting ways to murder the Uchiha, and daresay I agree with them. It's a shame the Tanuki can't help me with this problem now.

I have other problems to worry about besides the Uchiha, however; like this confusing bundle of emotions that Naruto has stirred up. He says we should take things easy, one step at a time; and as much as I agree with him, I can't help but feel a tad nervous. What if he gets tired of playing games with me? I tend to take physical affection in a roundabout fashion, the other day when he kissed and held me being my solitary exception.

I don't know why, but I feel as though this is one huge dream that's spiraled out of control and into the impossible. Because, truthfully, this doesn't seem real to me. How can Naruto be in love with me? What have I ever done for him? He's done so much for me… more than I can ever repay. I owe him a great deal. And I'm willing to give anything I can to lessen my debt. But how is it fair that he's giving me the one thing I've always wanted, and I'm so reluctant? It's too unreal. It shouldn't be this way; I should be more willing.

So why aren't I?

Oh, that's right: because I can't wrap my mind around the possibility that I could be… er, well, in love with him.

Somehow, that seems wrong to me. Wrong… but also so very right. Very… fitting. Naruto and I coincide as equals, and care for one another on terms I'm sure no other pair of human beings can compare to.

I know all this, and yet… I can't bring myself to say, 'I love Naruto'. Even thinking it makes me sick to my stomach with acidic, poisonous butterflies.

Even now I'm curled into a ball on the roof above my bedroom, the chilling night air sweeping across my face and tousling my hair. It's welcomed, this cold; it helps cool my burning flesh and clear my mind.

I can smell the distant cacti full of rainwater and the blossoms on them, as well as the musky scent of the animals that are scurrying across the desert sands while they still can without scorching their tiny feet. The desert is like that: alive at night when it is cool, and dying during the day when it is hot. I like that extreme between the temperatures; it feels like home to me. How Naruto can handle all the rain, clouds, humidity and other things that come with living in Konohagakure, I have no clue. I need my dry heat and dry cold, and the consistent pattern of it for nighttime and daytime. If it weren't for fear of drought, I would even go without the rain season, which turns our sands to mud for a couple days. Ah well, at least it fills our underground supply of water in this little oasis.

Purposely reconciling my thoughts to a dull hum, I lie back on the roof and stretch out my limbs. I can smell myself and less of the air now, for my arms are supporting my head.

My clothes smell strange; they smell similar to Naruto instead of my usual scent. I inhale deeply for a moment, my hairless brows coming together. I smell like fall leaves, grass, pork ramen, and something sweet that I can't identify. Then, in the background, I smell like myself, which is warm like the sands around me, but also spicy. I always smell spicy for some reason. But in this instant, I both enjoy and dislike smelling of Konoha. It's… unsettling, yet somehow calming.

It doesn't take more than common sense to know why I reek of Naruto: it's from our long embrace earlier. I rethink of that moment and shudder, a foreign tingling sensation running down my bones and alighting a spot lower than the pit of my stomach. The fact that such a small thing can affect me this much frightens me. I'm not used to feeling all these things. Why can't it just go away?

But I know it won't. It will never go away. I'm not graced so much to have my inner battles vanish.

Although, I wonder: what about Naruto makes me act this way? Is it because of all the things we've been through together, or is it him as a whole? It very well could be. After all, he's beautiful; and I don't only mean his looks. His personality… it's bright, much brighter than mine, and so friendly. He's an open book with his emotions, crying when he feels like it and smiling no matter what. Of 'course, it bothers me when he fakes it, forcing a smile to his lips to make a situation appear less hollow or disturbing. Or when he uses his smiles to make himself seem untouched by pain. Like when he reads my emotions through my eyes, I can read his through his smiles. I know when he's lying with a smile, and when he means it. I doubt any of his comrades know the difference.

Bah, there I go again, rekindling my thoughts into full speed. I best stop. Perhaps I should sleep… but no, I don't want to. I physically can, but I don't wish to have any nightmares. If I do, who will wake me?

No one. Because no one ever does.

Still… maybe I should sleep anyhow. It's not healthy to go through life without ever sleeping, Temari has told me countless times. She's correct, I know, but it's difficult for me. It's not a habit I'm accustomed to, nor is it something I'd indulged myself with in the past.

In the end, I decide to simply meditate for a while like I used to when I had the Ichibi demon in me.

x X x

Unfortunately, I must have fallen asleep during my meditation. Because once I awoke, I was in someone's arms, warmer than the cold night and softer than the rooftop. I crack open one of my eyes. I find moonlight, and in that moonlight I see the figure that's holding me. At first, I think it's one of my siblings; but I'm mistaken.

It's Naruto.

He has a pained expression on his face. "Are you alright?" he's asking me.

I blink, not understanding the question. I feel fine…

Oh. Through this haze, I nearly forgot: I had been having a nightmare. I was most likely thrashing around in my sleep, which would explain why Naruto is steadying me by holding my arms to my sides.

"How did you find me?" I ask softly while pushing him off and sitting up.

"I have pretty good hearing. I heard thumps and whimpers, and when I followed the noise it led me to you. What the hell were you dreaming about?!"

I look away and stand. It's hard for me to remember… but whatever it had been, it was apparently bad enough to make me whimper, which is a tricky feat to do.

I move towards the edge of the roof, about to jump down, when Naruto is suddenly holding me back. I tense under the grip of his hand. "Oi, I'm talking to you! Look at me. Tell me what happened in your dream." He pauses. "I want to help."

There's a difference being wanting to help and actually helping. In this case, I don't think he'll be able to help me. "It's nothing," I lie. "I'm going to bed. You should as well."

"Gaara…" he whispers, his whiskered face utterly serene. It somehow relaxes me. "We can't move forward unless we learn to trust each other. You can tell me anything."

Sometimes I think Naruto is too good of a person. He's practically angelic in the manner that he cares for people and steers them towards the right direction and onto the proper path. He changes everyone he meets and befriends them no matter who they are; traitors, cold-blooded killers, confused runaways, spoiled brats. It could be anyone, and he'll save them from not only a huge danger but also from themselves. It's amazing for kind-hearted he is. You could never in a million years guess that he had a demonic creature buried deep inside of him. You could guess it, however, if he ever got angry at you. When he does, then you see the red in his eyes and the blood on his elongated fingernails and you see what evil dwells beneath his lovely skin.

And I hate that.

Why, of all the babies in the world, did Naruto have to be the one to hold the ninetails? He doesn't deserve such a burden, although he does deserve the power.

Funny how that works.

"Anything?" I parrot, looking into his eyes. I sigh slowly. "Well then, I can start with the truth: I don't remember what I dreamt. I only know that it scared me half to death."

He accepts this with a nod. "That's all you had to say, dattebayo. Next time, don't lie, okay? Never tell me what it's nothing, because I know that with you, everything is something." The kitsune chuckles lightly. "If that even makes sense."

He truly is too good. He's too kind. So much that it hurts. My _heart_ hurts, feeling like it will burst from my chest. I want release. If only he was distant and not so close to me emotionally… then I wouldn't ache like this.

"Stop," I mutter, and I inwardly wince at the harshness of my own voice. It's on the brink of being icy. "Just **stop**. Why do you do this to me? Why are you so… so…" _impeccably wonderful_, I finish mentally. But I'd never admit that to him.

"Why am I so _what_?" Naruto questions, his eyes tearing into mine. I pull my gaze away, which takes a lot more effort than I initially thought. "And what am I doing to you? I haven't done anything!"

Yes, you have. You've made me someone I don't know any longer; someone who is emotionally weak and mentally fragile. You've made me crave things I never thought possible, some of which are things Kankurou mentioned that terrify me to want. (Like the craving I have to feel skin against skin, to be in a secluded place, and to be soulfully filled from the inside out…)

"You love me," I breathe to him, my eyes narrowed. "That's what you've done."

"And how is that a bad thing?!"

"It makes me frail!" I shout. I hadn't intended to raise my voice, and I think I've only done so a handful of times in my entire life. I bring it back down, although now I sound hoarse. "I don't… I'm not…" I'm at a loss for words. I sigh to myself and repeat the question I seem to always ask; only this time I leave out the specifics. "_Why_…?"

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

'Why'?! Dammit, he should know by now! After all I said yesterday, doesn't he know why? Unless he's thinking aloud, asking himself more than he is me. I guess that could be it. He could be asking why he… Uhg, I don't know. I'm not in his head. But I can be in his hand.

"Gaara," I say with a tone that I have no name for. I grab his hand and run my fingers over the knuckles of it. "Listen. I might not be the smartest person in the world, but I can tell that you're struggling. Just tell me what you need."

Something flashes in his eyes, and for a second I'm lost in what that look can mean. But then the redhead is standing and slipping his hand out of mine. "I need some time alone."

He says that, but I don't believe him. "I think you've had enough time alone in your life," I grumble. "I think you need to get used to having someone around." He glares at me, his expression a mix of annoyance and confusion. I place my ands on my hips. "So. To make you get used to it, I'm dragging you to my room tonight. C'mon, let's go. You're not escaping me this time."

Gaara curses under his breath, something similar to, 'stubborn-ass kitsune'. I grin foxily at him, a sly look in my eyes. I know I've won this time.

So, we go to the guest bedroom. I get under the covers of the bed and beckon for Gaara to join me. He shakes his head vigorously. I roll my eyes. "I won't do anything pervy, I promise. Just get in here," I demand.

He doesn't budge. He stands there, staring at the open sheets and at my face, like I'm crazy for wanting him to get into the bed with me. But I swear I'm not trying to do anything sexual! I just think it'll help break down those damn barriers he keeps around himself, and it'd be a lot warmer. Honestly, I don't know how he handles the coldness of these desert nights. They torture me.

With a frustrated sigh I get up and pull him (Gaara feels suddenly heavy!) into the bed, practically shoving him under the sheets. I get in beside him and tug on his robes so he doesn't escape. I can't tell, but I think he's blushing. Aww.

"I'm not comfortable with this," he growls, facing on his side away from me.

I lean in behind him, feeling him tense up. "I know, Gaara, but that's why I'm doing this. You need to get comfortable. I said we'd take things step by step, and we are; and this step is the one that brings your 'getthehelloutIwantmyspace' shit to an end, 'ttbayo!"

He doesn't reply, simply broods in silence and refuses to move. I don't like that. So, grinning, I wrap my arms around him and snuggle close as if we've always been together. He freezes even more, his whole body going rigid. See, I kind of pressed my chest to his back and laid one leg over both of his.

I feel his back muscles twitch. I think Gaara's trying not to beat the crap out of me. I almost don't blame him; I am being a bit forward, but what can I say? He's warm and feels good against me. And I gotta say: I like this better than when we were chest-to-chest.

"Naruto," Gaara grinds out between clenched teeth, "Let go of me._ Right_ _now_."

"No," I pout. "You need to get used to it."

"Release me."

"No way."

"Do it."

I grin. "Nope."

"Naruto," he threatens.

"Gaara…" I plead.

He sighs through his nose and turns his head to look over his shoulder at me. "What will it take to make you stop this madness?"

I catch a double meaning in his words. Wording my answer carefully, I say: "All it takes is your consent."

He blinks and faces his head forward again. I wait for him to say something.

What surprises me in the whispered response he gives. "How about a kiss instead?"

I can't tell you how unbelievable that sounds. Part of me tells me that he's just trying to distract me or convince himself of something, but I hardly care. I put pressure on his shoulder and place my knee between his legs, not hesitating to connect our lips.

Gaara gasps from the action, not expecting it in the least. That just frees me up to dip my tongue into his mouth. Yeah, I'll admit, I'm going a bit far for simply 'taking things slow'. But can you blame me? I know deep down Gaara doesn't mind it, and that neither of us really wants to wait.

I play with Gaara's tongue a bit, trying to coax him to react. After tickling the roof of his mouth, I get my wish. He slides his tongue over mine, tossing it aside to reverse the roles. I let him, and he excavates the inner walls of my cheeks and the underside of my tongue, probably tasting not much of anything.

On accident, I moan, but I find that making a noise had been a huge mistake.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm, and why is that such a mistake, Naruto? Do tell. Or, perhaps Gaara will tell us at the beginning of the next chapter. (smirks)**

**Sorry about my foul mind, you guys. I wanted to take things kind of slow, but I ended up speeding it up a tad. But things will come back down, you'll see. There'll be some struggling and then some resolve. Whoo! **


	3. Step Three

_Gaara's POV_

The second I hear something erupt from Naruto's throat, I jump. Literally, I jerk in place as if I had received an electrical shock. Heat surrounds me, and I start sweating. I feel suddenly claustrophobic, and break the kiss I had so stupidly asked for.

My brain in a scramble, I push Naruto off and bolt from the bed, my legs carrying me out the door, down the hall, and into my bedroom. I throw the door shut, idly locking it, and then head for the private bathroom adjoining my room. I pant and grip the ceramic sink, which is suddenly icy compared to my burning skin. I gasp in the darkness, trying to make sense of things.

What had gone wrong?

One minute I was kissing Naruto… and the next I was fleeing the scene.

But what had caused it?

I search my scrambled mind and find a few reasons.

One, Naruto had moaned. Which, according to my brother, is "a good sign; it means you can totally get laid in the next ten minutes or so". But I don't want to have sex out of nowhere like that.

Which leads to reason two: I had felt something. Something… weird. And… good, in a twisted way. But scary because of where the feeling was located. And it sprung up when I heard that noise Naruto made. What's the word for a sound like that? 'Erotic'?

That brings me to reason three: I don't want to get into anything remotely erotic. I have enough confusing feelings, and sexual ones would not help one bit.

It had been my fault that we began kissing, I know; I didn't mean anything by it, really. I just wanted to sidetrack my own thoughts and Naruto's method of trying to get me to admit what I fear is true.

That moment just now… it had been so intimate, and quite suggestive. Naruto was hovering above me, we were on a mattress, and our tongues had been dancing. It sends strange tingles through me and makes my lower abdomen lurch with warmth. I dislike this feeling. It's extremely disconcerting. It's as if I'll throw up… or explode from the coiling spring that had been present when I had Naruto's hands on me and his tongue in my mouth. In spite of having left the scene, I can feel him gliding throughout my mouth.

I lift a hand from the sink to touch my lips, which feel plump from use. I bring them in between my teeth and bite down, wanting to rid myself of this sensation. I know it had to be sexual. It's the only thing that can describe it, from what I've gathered. I'm not interested in that sort of thing, not in the least!

And yet I'm getting these feelings. All because of Naruto and the smallest of touches.

I shudder in disgust with myself and peel off my wrinkled clothing. It's late in the night by now, perhaps close to dawn. I hop into the shower stall and turn on the water, and it's chilling like fall rain in the Leaf, but it's returning my heart rate to normal and easing the tension off my nether region, which makes me feel more comfortable.

"Gaara?" I hear a voice call once I'm out of the shower. I know it's Naruto at my bedroom door, asking to be let in. I'm not so sure I should allow him to enter… what if something happens again? I don't know if I can handle it. The feeling of being so close… it's like being smothered and comforted at the same time. How is that even possible?

"Go away," I hiss, my teeth centimeters from the wood of the door.

I can hear Naruto press himself against it, probably his cheek. He mutters back, "Not until you talk to me. Why did you leave me?"

I hesitate. The way he worded that… it made it sound as though I abandoned him. But I would never do such a thing. I would never leave Naruto. I swallow. "I got nervous," I fib. Well, it's half a fib, anyhow. There's more to it than merely nerves, although the nerves are certainly part of it.

Naruto pounds the door with his fist. "Please, Gaara. Let me inside, just for a minute. I have to explain something to you."

Taking a deep breath, I oblige. I step aside to signal him in. "Fine. You have sixty seconds."

"Gaara, hear me out before you say anything, alright?"

I nod.

The blonde smiles faintly. "Arigato." Then he's looking me over in the dim light, probably wondering why my hair is wet and why my shirt is off.

I suddenly wished I had put on more clothes than simply my pants. Or that I had more time after my shower before he came here.

"Anyway," he coughs, his eyes leaving my exposed chest and speaking as though we had been on a different topic, "I realize what I did wrong, and I apologize. For you… I bet this whole thing is new and confusing and I'm not making it much easier by putting you into these situations." He winces. "But you have to understand that I can't help myself sometimes! You drive me insane… I want all these things from you and it takes all the willpower I have to not carry them out, dattebayo! And then you keep trying to escape. Do I really make you_ that_ nervous?"

"Indeed you do," I reply lowly. "Why can't you wait?"

"I dunno… because I've been deprived my whole life of so many things? Because you're the only one who I've felt this way for? It could be all kinds of things! All I know is, this is really hard. I don't want to rush you, honest… but sometimes my body doesn't follow my brain. It's the curse of being born male."

I nearly want to laugh at that last statement. I want to laugh at him and laugh at myself, and laugh at our whacky circumstance. Maybe I should make love to him just to get it over with.

Problem is, I know it wouldn't be a one-time thing; which is why I called it 'making love' and not 'sex'. I know that once it happens, it'll keep happening, over and over in different ways at different times in different places. And I know each time I'll probably feel loved and blissful…

But I can't do it. Not yet. Not now. I need more time. I need to go slowly, taking step after step. I also need Naruto to see this.

Too bad I don't say much, or else I could explain all my thoughts to him. But unlike Naruto, I don't speak every word I think of; I'm not tactless.

"You listen to me, Uzumaki," I begin, my voice dead serious. I don't even bother to call him by his first name with no honorific like I usually do. "I'm not like you. I can control myself, and I like it when things are in control. And when they get out of control, I stop it from spiraling any further. Call me OCD or whatever you like, but I am not one to give into my hormones unless I want to. So you will simply have to wait until I'm ready. I might be some day, but not now."

"I wasn't going to do anything to you!" he says in his defense, his voice rising. Naruto's eyes are lit with an inner flame, flickering between emotions like a candle next to an open window. "I respect that about you, and kept my hands mostly to myself, didn't I? I mean, uh, yeah, I kinda moaned, but…" Naruto grows embarrassed, his hand coming to rub the back of his head while the other balanced on his hip. "B-but I wasn't going to make any other move on you, I swear. I slipped up, but I just want to kiss you. Plus, I was cold. And now… Now, I'm tired and want to sleep. So… can we forget what happened and go to sleep before it's morning?"

I set my jaw and pull my lips into a hard line.

"Onegai, Gaara."

Sighing minutely, I nod once.

Naruto steps back, closes my door, and proceeds to my bed. He pulls back the made sheets, messing them up, and crawls inside. My bed is much bigger than the one he had been in a moment ago, yet I still see him taking the far edge from me and lay on his back, his eyes closing.

I stare at him. He truly is tactless. And yet… I can't deny him. I mentally kick myself for this, but I go to the bed and join him. The fact that I'm sharing a bed with Naruto in general is strange and a bit wrong to me. Still, I don't fight it. I'm also tired, and don't see why a bit of extra body heat can be unfavorable.

I sense movement beside me after a few minutes, and find the blonde shifting positions to face me on his side. He's smiling. "Arigato," he says again.

"Don't mention it," I reply, stifling a yawn.

"Heh, that's funny, I didn't think you'd –"

"No, really…" I tell him, "_Don't_ mention it. If anyone hears about this, who knows what'll happen. Gossip is like gold to the people of Suna."

"Oh." He pauses. "In Konoha, too. Damn, I never thought of what might happen if…"

If people find out that you're in love with me? Yes, I never thought of it until now, either. What would happen if I loved you back, and the shinobi of my village found out? Would they hate their ruler because he liked another male?

"Tch," I grunt, "What a pretty picture that makes."

Naruto frowns. "You're being sarcastic."

I shrug and turn onto my side away from him. "I am from time to time."

There is a pause, and then the kitsune is giggling. "Ha, know what I just thought of?"

I roll my eyes, but luckily he can't see the action. "What?"

"'Gaaracasm'**(1)**. It's 'Gaara' and 'sarcasm' mooshed together into one word!" he exclaims joyfully, as though he were the cleverest boy in the world. It didn't feel all that clever to me; it sounds like something that's already been made up, mostly likely by my siblings behind my back.

I turn onto my back once more and look at him. "You need to sleep, Naruto; you're getting delirious."

"And you're getting cranky," he pouts in reply, also moving to lie on his back.

I don't know how long it was nor if the sun ever rose before I drifted into sleep, but I do know that Naruto ended up holding my hand and placing my damp-haired head to his chest.

My last thought before I had fallen asleep was thinking of how frustrated I am with both Naruto's persistence and my subconscious desire to allow him to be that way.

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

Yeah, I really don't know why I thought I could get away with coming to Sunagakure for practically no reason at all.

I say this because Tsunade-baachan sent a little birdie with a message saying she knows what I'm up to. Psh, like she can actually guess. She probably thinks I'm avoiding Sasuke or the remainder of the Akatsuki or something. But hey, if those had been the reasons, they're actually good enough! Besides, what can she do? It's not like she can march over here and take me back. Unlike my old friend, I didn't run away. I'm simply… taking a vacation…? That works. A vacation. To… relax me, and prepare me. Sure. That's it.

So I tell her that. I write back, and mention that I'm training, which I pretty much am. I mean, I go jogging after dinner when it's cooler out, and when Gaara is too busy to hang around I go off to the training grounds with the Sand shinobi and practice some stuff. It's not hardcore training, but Tsunade doesn't need to hear about the details.

In my letter I also tell her that I'll be back at the original time we agreed on, which apparently she forgot about since she was freaking drunk off her ass when I talked to her about leaving for a while. Oh well, at least I can remind her now. I have a feeling, though, she won't let me stayed the entire allotted time. But this letter should postpone my departure, so I'm content.

Noon draws near once I'm done sending the scroll. And noon means lunch. It also means that Gaara is taking a short break. So I'm gonna go see him.

"Ne, Gaara…" I call from the hall outside his office. I pop my head in the doorway, but I don't find him at his desk. I frown to myself. "Eh? Where'd he go?"

Still frowning, I turn around and head for the kitchen. Temari's there, cooking something at the stove. I sit down at the breakfast bar on a stool.

"Oi, oi, oi! Temari-san, where's Gaara?" I pester her, waving my hands in the air by her face to get her attention.

She swats a giant wooden spoon at my waving hands. "I don't know where he is. I was hoping you'd know, because I want to bring some of this food to him."

My stomach growls, and I swear she hears it. I smile weakly. "Uh… can I have some of that food, too?"

She shrugs. "Sure. I made plenty. That is, I made plenty if you only have one serving and not, you know, _five_."

Rats, foiled again. I'll just have to eat something else a bit later on. I think Suna has a ramen shop somewhere…

"Help me locate my baby brother, won't you?" Temari asks. She loads two plates with the stir fry she made, along with two hefty spoons of white rice.

I grin and take one of the steaming plates from her. "Of 'course, 'ttbayo!"

We search high and low for him, searching practically half the Kazekage mansion. The food becomes less steaming, but thankfully stays well heated. For once I don't mind the warmth of the desert; it at least keeps food hot.

"I think I know somewhere he might be," I say to Temari. I hand her my plate. "Wait here."

I climb to the roof and look around. I'm not surprised when I guessed right; Gaara is seated not too far away, his legs to his chest and his chin on his knees. I smile, glad he doesn't see me. I run back to Temari, take the plates and bow quickly before hurrying back. I join him and smile as I hand him the plate and a pair of chopsticks. Gaara blinks at the plate before taking it into his lap after crossing his legs.

"Itadakimasu," I mutter and use the chopsticks to pick up a bite. I glance over at the redhead, whom doesn't seem to care that I'm here eating with him. He's quieter than usual; he didn't even say his normal 'thanks' when I handed him the food. "Oi," I whisper, "If you're still thinking about that night last week…"

"I'm not," he snaps.

But I can tell that Gaara's lying by how defensively he said that.

Funny thing is: I was thinking about it earlier today, too. I had been thinking of how his damp hair felt on my shoulder, or his warm body against my chest, or his hand in mine for the entire night. That whole scenario must be playing over and over in his head like a broken record. Only, unlike me (who plays it for pleasure), I bet he replays it to try and sort out how he feels about the whole thing. He was reluctant when it happened, but maybe now he could be…

Gaara tosses his plate of food to the roof, nearly slopping it's contents over the rim of the ceramic. The sound startles me form my thoughts. He crosses his arms tightly. I stare at him. "What the hell?!"

"I don't know what to do any longer," the young Kazekage confesses.

I scratch my head for a minute, not sure what he means. Then I'm smiling. "Wait… so… are you saying…?"

"Yes, Naruto," he sighs. "I'm saying that I'm too unsure. So I'm willing to follow anything you choose to do."

* * *

**A/N and footnote:**

**(1) - 'Gaaracasm' ... A Detrimental Benefits reference! Heh, heh. Sorry, I couldn't resist. I love that phrase too much... I came up with it and find it just so hilariously genius. I bet you all are rolling your eyes at me right now. XD**

**Um-hum, on a side note, I'm thinking this little fic could only be five chapters long or it could stretch to ten or more. I have no idea. I'll simply have to wait and see how it goes. (Although I'm sure my loyal fans/readers would want this longer, I can't promise anything.)**


	4. Step Four

**A/N: The ending (and beginning of the next chapter) is inspired by one of my 'Jinchuuriki Themes' playlist songs: "The Answer" by Blue October. I love that song. :3 **

* * *

_Gaara's POV_

I probably should not have said what I did. But I had, and now there's no going back.

I spy a certain gleam in Naruto's beautiful blue eyes that confirms my doubts. Yes, that really had not been the wisest thing to say. I couldn't stop myself. How come I always lose control when he's with me? It's odious.

While Naruto takes his time pondering how to reply, I retrieve the plate I had so carelessly tossed down. I bring it up and pluck a clump of rice mixed with sauce from the pile and stuff it in my mouth. For some reason I can't really taste it, but I can feel the grains of rice squish between my teeth and go down my throat. I collect another bite, this time of some vegetable, and eat it, still not tasting it. I think my bottled emotions are sprouting too rapidly for my brain to process much else, let alone how something tastes.

"Heh," the blonde beside me chuckles as he begins eating once more. "I might hold you to that. Anything I choose… heh, heh."

Oh, yes, that had very much been a dumb thing to tell him. He probably thinks I'm some pushover, and that he can get his way. I am not giving in; not at _all_. I would never succumb to anyone in a battle of wills like this, not even Naruto.

No, I am merely testing myself. If he acts on his feelings, I'll surely react, but the test is to discover the reason why. Maybe, during some physical session or another, I'll have an epiphany and realize if it's lust or love that I feel. On some level, I probably love the kitsune; but the real question is if I'm in love. I keep asking myself this… again and again I ask myself, wording it different every time. There is an attraction, I know, but if there passion behind it? This is what I need to know. So if Naruto wants me to do something outside of intercourse (since I already refused), I'll allow him to. Whatever he chooses, I will follow without complaint.

We complete our meals in silence. I'll have to return to my work soon…

"Gaara," Naruto utters to catch my attention.

"Hn?" I reply with my usual nonchalant manner of asking, 'what is it?'.

"Want to do something later? Like tonight, or tomorrow, or…"

I tilt my head curiously. What is it they call this? Asking someone to a 'date'? I think that's what it is; it sure sounds like it. I've seen it many times in all sorts of miscellaneous media; like books, for example. Or my brother; he tries often to 'ask girls out', but rarely succeeds. I feel bad every time he gets let down.

I gaze up passed Naruto's eyes and respond with a simple, "Sure." After all, I agreed to **anything** he chose. If this is it, then I don't mind. It's definitely not the worst thing he can ask for.

"Yatta!" he cheers to himself. He falters. "But, uh… what can we go do? I don't know what you have to do in Suna."

"Nothing much for entertainment," I admit a tad forlornly. "We are very serious shinobi. Unlike Konoha, we don't even have a movie theatre."

"Oh," he says. The blonde's face scrunches up a bit. "Then maybe we stay home and hang out. Looking back on it, you and I don't really get a chance to just sit around and talk about stuff."

"Because I barely talk," I remind him.

He laughs. "Yeah, I guess so. So maybe now's the time to start?"

I contemplate this. The reason for my lack of speech isn't any issue; people know I don't say much, and they're fine with that. They know I'm focused on my thoughts more, and in a way I use my silence as intimidation. It's also a means of getting attention; when you're quiet, people tend to stop talking whenever it is you decide to speak, since speaking is such a rarity. Yet I don't speak often for one major reason: voicing my thoughts can leak emotions.

This is especially the case around Naruto. When I'm with him, I say more than I usually do and my emotions like to sneak into my words. It irks me, but it's another thing I have no control over.

"I'll take it you're thinking again," Naruto smiles faintly. "You always get that far-off look when you are."

I blink out of my thoughts and send him a look. How the hell does he know all these things about me? It's beginning to scare me. Not even my siblings know what my expressions mean, however minor they appear on my face. But Naruto can tell every time.

Is it the love he feels? Is it our unexplainable connection? Or is it something more?

Either way, it creeps me out. "Stop doing that," I murmur.

"Stop doing what? I'm not doing anything."

"Stop reading the expressions I make."

Naruto grins. "But I like reading your expressions! I'm trying to see if I can get better at it. Sometimes you get this spark of emotion in your eyes for a brief second, and I can't tell what they mean. So I'm practicing." He pauses to grin wider and point his thumb at himself in a childish, proud manner. "So far, I can name about half the ones I see." He counts off three of them on his fingers: "Frustration, thoughtfulness, confusion; ones like that, 'ttebayo."

I draw a blank for any comments to say to that. All I can think of is: this man never ceases to amaze me.

"Ne, can we bring these plates inside now? They're getting heavy." The kitsune says suddenly.

I had forgotten he had been holding our lunch plates. Or that we were still on the roof. I nod and we climb back down to the kitchen.

Temari is washing some neglected dishes, and we add ours to the dirty stack by her right elbow. She rinses the suds off of a different plate, setting it on a towel to her left. "Oh, hello boys," she greets. "Did the food taste okay?"

"It was fantastic! You did a great job, Temari-san," Naruto says in a chipper tone.

I, of 'course, couldn't tell her that I didn't taste a single part of it. She'd get offended; or, possibly, might ask if I'm getting sick. You never know how Temari might react to something. She's… (what words can I use?) …predictably unpredictable. I literally expect her to do the unexpected. Like Naruto.

"I'll be in my office," I mention hurriedly. I exit and hear Naruto and Temari say something to one another as I turn a corner in the hallway. Footsteps follow me at a light, energetic pace.

"Oi, wait up!" the Kyuubi vessel calls to me. I slow down but don't stop. Naruto catches up to me and has a strange smile on his face. "So, Gaara, you'll do anything I say, right?"

"Not to the full context of what I bet you're thinking of," I murmur agitatedly. He's probably thinking I'll bow on all fours and call him master or won't protest if he decides to bind my wrists to my headboard or any of the other 'kinky' things my brother chatted to me about in that life-scarring conversation we had not too long ago. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.

"I wasn't… okay, so, maybe a few of those types of ideas might've sprung up when you first said what you did, but I swear I won't do any of that! I love you too much to torture you." He grabs for my shoulder. "I just want you to let me send some time with you tonight," he says to me.

I stop outside of my office door. Turning to face him, I stare into the deepest part of his eyes. Naruto seems to flinch slightly under my cool gaze, but I refuse to lift it. His breath is coming quicker. Vaguely, I wonder what he's thinking.

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

Oh man, why does he have to look at me like that? My pulse quickens with the fury of a racing horse, causing my breath to come in smaller gasps. I flinch a little. It's almost as if Gaara had yelled at me or slapped me. He hadn't, but those eyes of his… they're framed in vivid black and are such a stunning blue-green color like mist or seafoam; bluer than Sakura-chan's greenish seaglass eyes but similar in shade. Although, unlike my comrade's eyes, Gaara's can see right through me and won't let me see right through him. His barrier is up right now, blocking his emotions. The only indication I have is from his mouth. It's twitching. I have the urge to stop it's twitching by closing the gap between us to kiss him, but I doubt he'll let me. Gaara would probably push me away.

Damn…

"Wh-what is it? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?" I stutter. I glance away, finally able to break the intense connection. I start fiddling around with my hair. I rub the back and tousle the spikes and comb it once before letting my hand fall to my side with a soft clap.

"Like what," he states flatly. It's meant to be a question, but it doesn't sound like one to me.

"Like _that_," I mutter, my voice tense.

I take a fleeting glance at his eyes again, but it's too strong. I can't hold it. Of all the people in the world whom I can look directly at without so much as blinking, Gaara is not one of them. I love his eyes, but sometimes he scares me with them. I can only lose myself in his eyes if they're softened; but like I said, they're nothing but walls right now. Walls too high for me to climb.

"What brought on that look, anyway? Things were fine a second ago…" I say. My voice is so weak all of a sudden, so quiet. It's not like me. I want my voice back. I think Gaara might've stolen it.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Gaara says in a sharp whisper. He turns and yanks his office door open with more force than needed. The door yelps on it's hinges, begging that Gaara not break it. Right now, I doubt be can promise the door he won't smash it to splinters. He seems angry… at me, most likely. But what did I do?

I stick my tongue in my cheek and follow him in. "No, I really don't. Explain it to me."

He slams the door behind us, and without a word, the redhead paces over to the windows behind his desk. He seemingly stares out at the scenery, but I know better. When he's like this, I know Gaara is thinking something over. I don't know what, but apparently I triggered it. Or something I said did. I dunno which.

"It's not something I can verbally explain," Gaara informs. He takes a step back and half turns towards me. I avoid his eyes, finding the bookshelf in the corner much more interesting. "I wish you could tell me."

"Is that what I don't get? I don't get the twisted things you're feeling or the fucked-up thoughts you're having? You want me to understand them and translate them to you? Well I'm sorry to break this to you, Gaara, but I'm not in your head! I can't move your legs for you and force you to walk! You need to take a step on your own." I'm a bit proud of my metaphor, since I'm normally not good with those kinds of things. But since I said we'd take things 'a step at a time', it seemed fitting.

The Kazekage grinds his teeth, and I know by the action that I must have 'hit the nail on the head', as they say. At least, I struck some kind of cord in him. Unfortunately, that means Gaara's getting more pissed, although I'm guessing it's more towards himself than towards me at the moment.

He crosses his arms, going into defense mode, and faces me completely. The light shines in through the window behind him, giving him a sort of glow. But his eyes get cast into shadow, which darkens his aura. And then he speaks, but it comes out low and almost haunting like when he spoke as a twelve-year-old. "It's not very rational, is it? I trust you to figure out something that's in my head. No, not rational at all. Close to impossible. Utterly unrealistic." He pauses. "And yet, I still want it. I still want you to do the impossible, the unrealistic, since you seem to do it all the time in every battle. You always do what no one expects. You surprise people constantly, Naruto. It's an amazing talent, as my sister called it the day you and Chiyo-baasama brought me back. But personally, I'd call it a curse. It makes people desire more from you than I think you can give. Am I right?"

I gulp. He hasn't said that much at one time for a while now. And what Gaara just said is so true that – for once – I'm left speechless. I open my mouth once or twice to say something, but only air escapes my lips in tiny squeaks.

"So I am right," Gaara murmurs to himself, but I can still hear him thanks to my keen senses (courtesy of Kyuubi). He begins pacing. His words come louder, directed at me, but thankfully less harsh. "Well, you wanted me to speak more, so I did. Perhaps, as the night wears on, we can hash out a few things." I think that's his way of saying, 'I'm sorry for barking at you'. Gaara continues, "Because… despite my inner conflicts… I…" he hesitates, as if debating on what to say. Finally, he says with softer eyes boring right into me, "I like to be with you."

A smile touches my lips, and I don't hold it back. I like hearing that… it lets me know that I_ am_ important to Gaara, and _solely_ me; I doubt he says stuff like that to his siblings.

I walk over to him and sit down on his desk. He stands a foot or so in front of my widespread legs, which are now dangling over the edge of the wood at my knees. "Well, you already know how I feel," I say. "But if you want to hash things out – like your feelings or whatever – then I'm right here for you. I'm not going anywhere, dattebayo."

He's so confusing. One minute Gaara's reverted back to his grumpy self and the next he's back to his shy, reserved self, showing a bit of his softer side. To tell you the truth, I like this shy, softer Gaara. I know Gaara would never physically hurt me, but sometimes when he gets grumpy like that (and grumpy if putting it lightly!) I get afraid of him. Not afraid like his villagers of his demon, but afraid that he'll never speak to be or want to see me again. When he's mad like that… I'm scared that he'll end up hurting me emotionally.

It's sappy, I know. But I can get pretty sappy at times.

"You'll have to go soon, though," Gaara reminds me. He can't look me in the eyes. "I feel like I'm pushing you to leave instead of Hokage-sama. Since I keep acting like…" he drifts off.

"I know," I tell him. His has been acting weird, but I can sort of guess why. "It's not you're fault; you're confused."

"Confused?" he parrots. The next part I barely catch: "Yes, that's a good word for it…"

"Oi," I say to get Gaara's attention. He blinks at me. "If I can't crawl inside of your head, then you're going to have to explain things to me, 'cause my own head isn't all that straightforward, either."

"But you yourself are straightforward; and complete open book," Gaara tells me.

I shrug. "Well, then that's great; I'm an open book. But you're real shy. So let's pry you apart and take a look; I want to get to the bottom of this for once and for all, 'ttebayo!"

Gaara glances down at his hands. He curls them into fists and resumes his arm-cross pose. He sighs through his nose; I learned that Gaara does that when he's irritated or thinking over something difficult. And he does it a lot around me. "It's strange," he murmurs finally, "There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up... but I don't know how to do that."

"I told you," I remind him, "That's what I'm here for."

"Then how do you open up to people?" He's so naïve sometimes. It's adorable.

I smile and lace my hands behind my head. "Well," I begin, "For me, it's not that hard to do; whatever I feel I let out in any form I can."

"But sometimes you hide it. Like your pain; I see you hide it behind a smile," the redhead points out.

I wince. "Yeah, maybe sometimes, but it's only because of my childhood. It's no big deal." I unlace my hands and use them to balance myself as I kick at the air. "What's a big deal are your feelings. What do you feel, Gaara?"

"Where at?"

"Your heart! Where else? That's where all the main emotions are!" Man, is he really that dense about these kinds of things? Sheesh.

He shakes his head. "I don't know what it is."

"What does it feel like, then?" I ask, my head tilting slightly. "We'll start there. Describe it to me as simply as you can."

"…It has a fiery ache."


	5. Step Five

**A/N: okay, so i lied. i didn't use more of 'The Answer', but i kind of did as far as emotion goes; like with these lyrics: "...you can't stop from crying; you've got to suck it up..."  
this will be done who-knows-when, so for now, enjoy each chapter as they come~ :D**

* * *

_Gaara's POV_

"A fiery ache, eh?" Naruto says casually. His legs still kick as they dangle from the desktop, and I'm tempted to snap at him to stop. It's really annoying; it doesn't help me think in the least. In fact, it distracts me.

"Stop kicking!" I hiss.

"Huh? …Oh. Gomen," he mutters and stops. He hops down from the desk and paces the room. "Hmm… an ache…" he says again. I can tell by the way he moves that he doesn't feel as calm about such a statement as he looks. But one of the things I like about Naruto is this: he at least tries. So, trying, he asks, "Fiery in specific? Not… throbbing, or raw, or sharp, or like a whole?"

"Yes," I respond. I can feel my knuckles digging deeper into my ribs. I'll have bruises later, I'm sure. "A fiery warmth all throughout my chest and into the pit of my stomach. And my heart aches in a new way than it had when I was younger. It's less painful, and yet more at the same time."

"Really?" The blonde sounds as though this is the most interesting thing on the planet. I feel like I'm talking to a therapist; the kind crazed ninjas go to when they've seen too many horrid things on the battlefield. He smirks suddenly as if he's figured out something I haven't. "Really…"

What? What did he figure out?

I grunt and glare at him. "'Really' what?"

He smiles. "I think I know what that ache means. But before I tell you, will you let me do something?"

I back up a couple steps as he grows nearer. "Do what?"

"Don't worry," Naruto says with such a soft, trusting tone and expression to match that I find myself resisting less. "It won't be much of anything, 'ttebayo."

I tense my muscles so that I stay on high alert, but I don't flinch as he steps closer and places his hand on my chest.

I gasp at the sudden heat that's radiating from his palm through the fabric of my robes, and on reflex my half-fisted hands fly to my chest as if to push him away. The kitsune grabs hold of one of my wrists and presses it against my other hand, forcing them both to my side so he can slide his hand to my left breast. He whispers, "Hmm, either I'm delusional, or your heart speeds up a notch with me touching it."

He's not wrong. I can feel it fluttering beneath his hand, quicker than it had been a minute ago.

"Do you still feel it ache?" he inquires, whispering again.

I swallow and shove his hand off my chest. I don't want to admit that for a split second my heart had swelled to an unnatural size as if racing to meet his palm. Nor do I want to admit that the warmth had swum pleasantly in that second in my lower stomach. Instead, I test him with this: "Why does it matter?"

"It'll help me figure things out." He gets an intense look in his cerulean eyes. "Come on, Gaara! Tell me what happened just now!"

I bite my lip. He sure is pushy. "Fine," I grumble. I motion for him to lean in so I don't have to speak so loudly, almost as if I had a secret to share. Naruto's intense gaze fades and it gets replaced by curiosity, and he obeys my physical command. I murmur near his ear a brief description of the swelling and warmth. All the while a blush of embarrassment assaults my cheeks.

When I'm done I back away and cast my eyes to the floor. I cross my arms and wait for him to respond.

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

I stare at Gaara for a long time.

When he first mentioned what kind of ache it was, something clicked: I realized that he loved me back. He doesn't know it yet, but Gaara's in love with me, too. He's simply afraid; I don't know what of or why, but he is.

Still, I know it's true; there's no other explanation. And with that touch to his (wonderfully toned, yet slightly soft) chest, I got my proof: he heart raced after he came down from his surprise of the action. A racing heart that isn't from exhaustion always means some type of passion.

Plus, the dusting of pink on his face tells me that he didn't like telling me about what happened inwardly to him when I touched him. Gaara's shy that way, since he's so unaccustomed to (heh, that's a phrase I picked up from Kakashi-sensei) human contact of most kinds.

…Not that putting your hand over someone's heart is a normal human contact; I actually don't think it's very common. But hey, it was necessary!

Hmm. I'm getting sidetracked. Stupid brain! Stop staring and thinking about the redhead and actually say something to him; he's waiting for it, dummy!

Okay, so, I gotta say something. How about: "I see…"

Uhg,_ lame._ But it's a start.

"That's all? 'I see'?! I tell you something personal like that and all you have to say is, 'I see'?!" he hisses at me in a low tone.

…Or not.

Shit! Gaara is so touchy today! If he was a girl, I'd swear he was PSM-ing. But he's not a girl so I can't blame these emotional spasms on the female time of the month. I can, however, blame my own idiocy.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I snap back. "I only mean…" I pause. "Actually, I don't know what I mean. But I do know what it is you're feeling; you won't like it."

"Don't beat things around the bush, Naruto."

"Right," I sweatdrop. I inhale and exhale slowly. My finger comes up to scratch my cheek on my topmost whisker mark. "Uh, see, what you're feeling is similar to what I feel," I explain slowly, "Which means… you love me, too. Mostly likely, anyway."

He freezes and stares blankly at me. "No."

"…Eh?"

"No. That's can't be. I'm not cut out to love others; it's difficult for me."

"Gaara," I say sternly, "Not all the time do things go how you think they will or should. Sometimes you just happen to fall in love, okay?! And sometimes with people you never thought…" I drift off. Shaking my head to clear it, I change the subject. "'Sides, it's difficult for all of us. Love had never been easy. I mean, how do you think I feel? Here I am, trying to help you, because I care about you; and I'm trying to see if you love me back… and just when I have hope that you do, you shoot me down! What's your problem? Why can't you love me?!"

"Because I don't want you to abandon me later on!" he yells in the loudest voice I've ever heard him make outside of attacks.

I stumble backwards and fall into a daze. Finally the truth shows itself: Gaara doesn't want his heart broken. He doesn't want more pain. He _fears _it.

"Gaara…" I say gently, taking a step forward.

"Don't 'Gaara' me!" he roars in a resentful tone. His eyes are clouding, blurring, and I'm wondering if it's my tears or his. It could be both. "I've never done anything decent to deserve love, so why should I receive it? Besides, nothing good ever lasts. My past has proved that. So if you're going to keep this up… then I don't want to get involved too far in it. I've told myself before that I'd give you a chance, that maybe I could get some sort of epiphany about what my feelings are exactly, but after what you said… it made me see that if I am in love, then I'm only setting myself up for future torment."

He's crying now, I can tell. Gaara's voice is fading in and out and his shoulders are shaking, even if I can't see any tears falling from their trapped position in his lids and short, newly damp lashes. I think I'm also crying, but with the heavy emotions flowing through me, I can hardly tell. I only feel the burn on my face and the raw ache rubbing the tissue off of my heart, causing me to internally bleed.

Wow, that's a bit dramatic, but it's true. Why else would I say it? Just because it sounds nice? It's not. Seeing Gaara this… this… _defenseless _makes me feel the same, only multiplied by ten. He's opening up big time, isn't he? I don't think Gaara has ever shown this side of him to any other human being with the exception of when he was a child. I also think he'll probably never show more than glimpses of it later on. This sis rare, and I have to remember that.

He's too broken to keep talking to me, so he just stands there. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him. Gaara murmurs small 'no's in protest, but I pay no mind. I hold him close and as sweetly as possible, I attempt to reassure him. "I'll never abandon you, Gaara. I'm a very committed person, and I always keep my promises if they're within my ability, don't I? So I can promise you that I'll never leave. You can trust me not to break your heart, because I truly do love you, understand?" I think for a minute and realize that I partially lied about something. "…Well, I haven't really kept my promise to Sakura-chan about Sasuke, but that's because he's too rebellious. He won't let me keep my promise; he refuses to come back to Konoha except to destroy it for whatever reason." I move to shrug but remember that I'm somewhat bound by the embrace, so I sigh instead. "But who cares about Sasuke, eh? My brother is long gone."

I almost smile. I haven't referred to Sasuke as anything outside of 'prick', 'bastard', and 'jerk' for so log that calling him the old term I had for him sounds funny coming from my mouth. Our brotherly, sibling-rivalry relationship is literally left down to a worn photograph framed in my bedroom. It's the only shred of proof I have that the Sasuke I knew wasn't a dream.

And the only proof I'll ever have that this sobbing, open-book Gaara ever existed is the kiss he places on my lips within the next moment.

I falter for a passing second; but then I'm kissing him back, my jaw working to press my tongue into his mouth.

I don't know how comfort can lead to kissing, or how Gaara's even able to respond to my forceful kiss, or why he's tolerating me and not knocking me two ways from Sunday.

"Naruto," I hear his voice gasp as I tug on Gaara's hair and worm my way down to the hollow of his throat.

How did we get this way, again? Weren't we both crying with stress and pain a minute ago? Oh well. I like this better. And maybe, if I play my cards right, I can have him writhing beneath me…

"Ah! No…" Gaara's protesting weakly.

He won't be for very long; I can tell he likes it. After all, I'm wrapped up so tightly with him that I can feel his body quiver and his heart race. He feels so perfect against me… how did I not see this in the past? – Sorry, Sakura-chan, but you have been replaced.

"Naruto, what if this leads to…" Gaara breathes, but he's failing to finish any coherent thoughts. It's working; he's definitely not hurting anymore, and he knows what I want.

My lips brush his collar bone as I open my eyes (I hadn't even noticed that I closed them!). "Every step I take leads me nearer to you," I whisper. I lift my head and look him in the eye. Gaara's expression is beautifully soft, and his eyelids are lowered. "So no matter what, we'll get led there. It's unavoidable," I tell him with all seriousness.

He bites his bottom lip again, his aqua orbs leaving mine. It doesn't look like he'll be saying anything more for a while. That's fine with me; I want to explore his frame and not talk.

I lean forward and kiss his lips, and I can actually feel his bottom lip slip out from his teeth and his breath heat up my mouth. I close my eyes again and lick at his upper lip, then across the back of his teeth, and then into the roof of his mouth. I dip down to find his tongue, and he tackles mine. Despite never practicing, he's a pretty good kisser. It seems that way to me, anyhow; Gaara always seems to know what I'm thinking. He does understand me, without a doubt.

I retreat to my own mouth and see if Gaara follows, and he does. I back off on my movement to allow him to explore. The slickness of his timid tongue tickles my gums. I'm sure he's wondering why the hell he's tasting someone else's mouth right now, or what the hell he's doing or how he's doing it, but frankly I couldn't care less. This is nothing to me; it's as natural as throwing a kunai.

It's also arousing. I don't know why I'm getting this high off a kiss, but this is deep and what you might call sensual, so I guess that explains it.

I slide my hands out of Gaara's hair and neck to tear at his robes. I'm able to yank off the white cloak and touch the sleeveless blue fabric under it when Gaara breaks the kiss. He taps my hands, as if to say, 'wait'.

So I do. I make my hands hover in the air near him, waiting until they can resume. I want to touch him so badly! I bet all his skin is just as flawless as milky surface of his face. And just as delicious as his neck…

Gaara picks up his discarded cloak and takes me by the hand. He has this weird look on his face, and I can't explain it. It's a mixed version of a bunch of emotions, all of them diverse (ha, another big word I picked up). The redhead drags me to his room, and my heart starts to beat at a higher rate. What if we…? Oh, man, now that I think about it, maybe making love is a step too far for us. We aren't that old, and… Uhg, but I want to with every fiber of my being! – Besides, since when do I listen to reason? I usually go with my 'gut'. And right now my gut is churning and tingling, sending waves of heat to my groin.

The door closes and locks behind us, and without thinking I connect my lips to Gaara's throat. We collapse onto his giant master-sized bed with a grunt. I continue my tearing of Gaara's clothes, this time clutching his shirt and pulling it off over his head. His hair gets ruffled in the process and it looks so adorable, all in his face and on the sheets. Blood red on cream… what a nice combo.

You know, I'm not paying attention to what Gaara tastes like. Whatever it is, it's addicting, and I'm craving more. Now that his bare chest is revealed to me like that night I came into his room after he got out of the shower, I take my time getting to know each piece of flesh. His ribs, one by one (he's ticklish in between the fourth and fifth if you scratch gently, I discover within seconds)… his abdomen (which is silky smooth and rippling with nerves under my fingertips)… and finally, the two nubs on his chest (they cause his back to arch slightly if you tweak them just right).

Gaara is so thin, but not too thin. He's the perfect proportion, slender and tone, as if he never needed to learn taijutsu to get his body strong like I had. Oh, and that skin color of his… not too white like Sai, but not tan like me, either. The perfect creamy-peach color, and just as soft as it looks. Which is surprising, considering all the years he has sand armor on his body. Maybe it locked the moisture in instead of took it away? I dunno. Whatever.

Satisfied with feeling with my fingers, I lean down and line kisses down the center of Gaara's chest. My nose skims his right side and my tongue flickers out to heat a stiff nipple.

"Mnh…"

At first I think the noise came from my own mouth on accident like the moan that sent him running, bit I'm wrong. The redhead under me had made that teeny noise, and it makes my already hardening member twitch. I like that noise.

I move over to nip at Gaara's left bud. And he makes the same noise again, only sharper. "Mnh!"

Heh, heh. I have him now~!

Purposely rubbing my chest against his as I come in to attack Gaara's Adam's apple, I let out a noise of my own. "Nn, Gaara…"

Problem is? I chose a moaned version his name when I probably shouldn't have.

He tenses, and I guess it's like he was coming back to his senses. His hands come up from their frozen positions at his sides and push on my shoulders. I think he wants tp say something, a command, but nothing's coming out. I hear a squeak in the back of his throat. I look up for a second to spy his mouth agape. Yeah, he does want to talk, but I think I've stolen all his words with the word 'unavoidable'.

When it comes to me, it looks like he doesn't have much fight left in him. Poor Gaara… I'm his weakness. Oops; I didn't mean for that to happen.

Throwing away my thoughts, I suck on his Adam's apple. Gaara utters another noise, something similar to "Nah-ru", which I think is supposed to be part of my name. I like his song even better, so I suck harder. I can almost feel the blood vessels rise to the area and bruise his otherwise flawless skin. For the second time: oops. At least his robes will cover that up.

I lick the spot better and move back to his mouth, but I pause. Something doesn't feel right… Oh, I know! My jacket! I'm still wearing all my clothes.

I lean up and unzip my jacket, toss it to the floor behind me, and yank off the mesh underneath. The necklace I got from Tsunade-baachan dangles between us as I come back for Gaara, who's now panting. I lay a plump kiss on his lips and ask, "Are you going to stay silent forever?"

He's usually quiet like this, I know, but it's like he shut off. He was ranting, raising his voice, and then _bam!,_ he fell flat (aside from those wordless noises). Believe it or not, I miss the sound of his voice.

"If I feel like it," he says curtly.

I chuckle and grab him as I turn us over. Now he's on me, probably feeling the tightness in my pants and the slight sheen of sweat on my chest. Gaara squirms a little. When he does, I feel him, too. I almost laugh again. His body wants me, too.

But I wonder what his mind wants.

Or his heart.


	6. Step Six

**A/N: shorter in length? yes. reason being? i wanted to switch to Gaara's POV and keep the pattern. plus, this isn't too much shorter, not _really_. but will i update with more by the end of the day? you bet your tushie i will. or, in this case, Naruto's tushie... huhuhu.**

* * *

_Gaara's POV_

Like a bird locked in a cage without the key in sight, I'm helpless. Why? Why does my heart and my body betray me? I trust Naruto, I do, so I know he won't hurt me, but it's strange when your body screams, 'yes!' and your mind screams, 'NO!', and worse, when your heart is battling between the two.

My body clearly wants physical action. The gruffer, more animalistic side of me – the side that lingers on Shukaku's demonic thoughts and desires – wants to take Naruto and drive him into the mattress, which is a thought I cringe at.

My brain, on the other hand, wants no part in this. It says, 'not yet!'. It begs, 'not with him topping you!'. It orders, 'have control over yourself!'.

Then, my heart… it's the side of me that gave into the kisses Naruto laid on me and enjoyed them. My heart, unfortunately, follows my body for the most part. Although, being in love as Naruto so proved, also agrees with my mind because my mind wants slow love. Purer love.

Unless… perhaps… the moments to come can be turned pure?

I wonder…

Almost desperately, I clench the brim of Naruto's pants and nudge him, silently telling him to remove the article of clothing. He stares at me in surprise. "What…? Seriously? You…"

Want to? Apparently yes, I do. My brain is still undecided, but I can't hold in the adrenaline in my system any longer. My body is going to do something terrible unless I let it have what it wants. No cold shower will save me this time.

The blonde tucks me over to his side and frees himself. I look away, not wanting to spoil my eyes with something I'm afraid I'll like too much. So, in a low mutter, I tell Naruto to crawl under the sheets. It'll be easier if I can't see the temptation… at least, I hope so.

Naruto obeys without a word and smiles at me. "What about you?" he asks in a hushed tone.

Exhaling sharply through my teeth, I slip off my pants and underwear and ignore the eye-bulging stare I know Naruto is giving me.

I join him in my bed sheets, which I expect will need some major cleaning when this is done. I'll have to do it myself; I don't want any of the maids who work here to see. It might disgust them. Not to mention one of them will leak the information to my siblings, I'm sure. That would be a horrendous occurrence…

Naruto sneaks close to me and runs his hand up my thigh as he gets on his knees to face me. I shiver deliciously, not understanding why that affects me as such. I have no time to think, however, because soon the kitsune is inching nearer. His hand lifts my thigh slightly, his fingertips brushing the base of my rear. I barely care about that as he grinds himself against me, and I hear myself cry out in a much higher voice than I'm used to making. He moans loudly, and that deep sound echoes in my ears.

I grind my teeth. What is this feeling? It's so rich and large, taking over my whole frame and digging into my core.

_It's consuming me…_

My heart swells again and beats impossibly fast. Naruto leans into me, filling my every minor curves, his length between my legs below my own. I can't tell where his hands are now; all I feel is heat. Normally my skin is cool to the touch compared to others', but at the moment I'm burning all over.

_The fire is consuming me…_

"Gaa…ra…" Naruto pants, and he jerks upwards, hitting me. I groan, my mandible aiming towards the ceiling. It's painful, and hard, and wonderful. I don't even know if I like it or dislike it.

Petal-soft, lukewarm pillow touch my chin. It's Naruto's lips, I realize. He rotates his hips, the same collision happening again, and it's too dry and rough for my taste (and I live in the desert; go figure), but I can't help to moan. It's oddly addicting, and Naruto keeps pushing to make the desire to feel it grow.

Goose bumps coat my flesh and I feel sweat forming along my hairline. My mind suddenly pulls a blank. I blink my eyes, forcing them open, trying to recall why I'm doing this, or why this feels the way it does.

Slowly, like a creature emerging from the fog, I remember that Kankurou said hormones have something to do with things like this. And I remember that I let this happen because I stopped struggling.

Because I love Naruto.

I… Did I really just think that? I did… Wow. Guess my epiphany came after all. And here I thought it would never come around because I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Naruto really isn't the foolish one. I am.

Because I didn't become conscious of…

"Nuhg!" I sputter. Naruto, during my thoughts, had slinked down to my open legs, and now I can't even look at him because his face right where no one's face should be. And his mouth was at the end of something I never thought could be touched in such a way.

I blank out even worse. Now I can't even recall my name. Who am I, again?

My nerve endings electrify and light up where Naruto's tongue is probing. My skin tickles where his hair grazes as his head bobs up and down, licking along my…

"Gu-uh!" I gasp, still sputtering incoherent things. This time, to cut off any sense of _anything_, it felt like Naruto brought his lips over his teeth to soften the blow of his nip as he plucked at the sensitive bulge under my length. Oh, _dam_mit… why is he doing this to me? I'm about to go insane. I honestly am. If my teeth don't break from the pressure I'm applying to them, or if my insides don't burst, I swear I'm going to tear something into shreds. This is… unexplainable. This feeling is so different than everything in the world combined.

Another lick upwards and an aggressive suck at the top. It nearly sends me off the edge! I swear my nails are digging holes into the sheets around me. And my eyes are squeezed so tightly I can see glittering, multi-colored stars and zigzags dance behind my utterly black-background lids.

Suddenly, my eyes pop open and my heart seems to stop as I explode from the inside out. I blink a few times to clear my head, and the blank dissolves.

Naruto is laughing.

I look down at him, and he's wearing a broad grin. "I'm assuming that was your first orgasm, huh?" he mutters amusedly.

I want to smack him for mocking me, but I can't bring myself to do it. Instead, I say, "You've got something on your face. Better clean that up."

He takes a corner of the sheets, still chuckles to himself, and wipes my seed away. "Gaaracasm," he reminds me in a sing-song voice. Somehow, I don't think he's referring to my sarcasm this time, even if he didn't say 'Gaara**g**asm'. He looks to my face. "Bet you weren't expecting that. I gotta admit, though, I was expecting you to be hairless. That's funny; why is that, anyway? Is it for the same reason that you have no eyebrow hair?"

Whatever he did to me down there? No, I wasn't expecting it in the least. And as for my pubic hair? I don't even know the reason why. I don't mention any of this to him, but I think he understands by the look in my eyes.

He cups me suddenly, making me moan again. The kitsune smirks. "Hmm, you're still hard. Normally people go limp."

I don't want to think about what he means. Instead, I grip his shoulders and turn the tables. I'm tired of being the prisoner; it's his turn. I refuse to play what Kankurou called the 'uke' role. I'm no pushover, as I said in the past.

The blonde's smile fades a bit. But then it returns. "You wanna have a go? Be my guest. I've waited a long time for this," he tells me in all sincerity.

I straddle him, earning noises from the back of his throat. Naruto offers his neck to me, and I take it gladly. I'm not as sure of what to do, so I mimic some of the things Naruto did to my own neck. One mark deserves another, I suppose.

I ravish his neck and give little suckles at his ears, which make Naruto's muscles turn to jelly beneath me. It even weakens his solid abs.

My fingers make nimble work of rubbing at his chest, and Naruto practically purrs. He truly must love me if he's enjoying these tiny gestures. I would do what he did to me, but I doubt I can take his member in my mouth; it seems a little gross to me. Besides, I have other plans. Plans my brother spoke of in his perverse ramble…

"Naruto," I ask huskily.

His gorgeous blues peek open to show a swirl of lust and love. "Y-yeah?"

"I've come to a decision."

He goes a bit bleary-eyed, unable to disguise his pleasure as I lower myself and buck my hips. "Wh… What… dec-cision?" he pants heavily.

"I'm going to make love to you."

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

When I first hear the words, they don't register. I sit there for a moment. Then, slowly, th words 'make', 'love', and 'you' process, and I want to cheer at the top of my lungs, 'FUCK YES!'

Of 'course, I don't want to shatter Gaara's eardrums, so I hold in the shout and bite at a smile that refuses to leave my face. I don't even care what his reasoning is; whether it's the heat of the moment or because he loves me, it doesn't matter. The guy I love wants to give himself to me, and I'm willing to return the favor. Forget what I said before about us being young or whatever; who gives a shit? I love him and won't have this any other way.

Uh, but how do I respond to that? I don't want to sound all needy like a girl and say, 'oh, Gaara, take me now…' because that's both dumb and corny. Still, I can't think of much else, expect to ask: "Are you sure?"

He nods, and that's all I need. I try to make my breathing even, but that's really difficult when Gaara's laying on me like this. I'm loving the contact – never has my desires been fulfilled so perfectly – but, you know, as lightweight as he is, having someone in top of you does give you less room to breathe.

I'm not going to complain, though.

So I smile. "Well, since you're sure…" I say as I reach for his long-fingered, pale hand. You're supposed to have lubricant, but I doubt Gaara has any in his room, so we'll have to do this the old fashioned way. If, that is, old fashioned folk were gay…

I place three of the digits into my mouth, and for a fleeting second Gaara looks away with that blush on his face. I smile slightly as I coat his fingers with my spit, the back of my mind chuckling at what he could be thinking of when he sees my mouth at work on something similarly shaped to his length.

I bet you thought I was going to use some crude term like Sai would. Nope, I got class, even if I lack the tact to match. And I also got a bit of astonishment (yes, another word I picked up in my small vocabulary) when Gaara said what eh was going to do. It's like… it's like Neji wearing a pink bow in his hair: you'd never expect it because he's such a tough guy, and yet you almost would because he has such girly, silky, long hair.

That's the case with the young Kazekage above me; I don't really know what I expected sex with him to be like… in most of my more memorable wet dreams I was topping him, not the other way around. So for him to be aggressive enough to draw the line and make himself my (temporary, because I'll get him later) seme, it's kind of amazing. Unexpectedly amazing.

Maybe I thought sex with him would actually be a lot rougher. Or perhaps bloodier, considering the type of person he was when I first met him. I dunno. Whatever I expected, it wasn't this. He's being a little shy and gentle, just as gentle as I would've been if I got to top first. Because, despite the slightly crazed desire to deliver an unforgettable round from behind, I would have done exactly this the first time: offered my fingers to prepare him so it would hurt less, have us front-to-front so he could see every emotion on my face, and even though we aren't to the point yet, I would've held him as I went inside and kissed him so that he could be distracted from the totally weird feeling.

Coming out of my thoughts, I open my mouth and watch as Gaara places his fingers at my entrance (which is the weird part, since that's normally more of a, um, exit). He attentively slides in one finger at a time, pausing now and then to check my face and allow me to adjust.

I won't lie; it feels uncomfortable. And when he scissors his fingers, it hurts the tiniest bit. Being the ninja that I am, I'm used to a lot worse pains, but having one up my ass is not within the norm. And it burns. It's scorching all on the inside where he touches, making Gaara's fingers seem cold when I know they're not. The best part, though, is when he slowly pulls out, and relief tickles me.

He goes faster, hooking his knuckles of two of his digits, leaving the longest and third outstretched to leave me open. The ring of nerves around the edge gets hit, and I jerk my hips in response. Okay, things are getting interesting now. And by 'interesting', I mean 'addicting'. I moan for more in short gasps, and Gaara replies with a quick shove of his hand. My back arches a little and I feel the strain in my arousal increase for a second. Man, it still burns with a strange kind of hurt, but if this is only how his fingers feel, what will the larger part of him feel like? I'm damn curious…

"Are you ready?" he asks quietly, and I nod my head. I don't really want to say anything; the moment is too intense for it. And that's saying something since I'm such a blabbermouth.

The redhead hesitates, so unsure of himself. I want to snap at him, 'dammit, love, I want you now!' but I resist. It might sound kind of weird. I'm impatient, but like I said, this moment is too tense.

I close my eyes and relax my body. Slowly, I feel the head of Gaara's shaft enter, and I try to control my muscles; it won't help either of us if I tense up too much. I open my eyes, sweat dripping off my forehead from our combined body heat. I lift my hands and reach for Gaara, and he reaches in return. I help him ease into me, and I bite back a groan. Oh, shit…

Gaara starts panting really fast, like he's going to pass out. I bet he has no name for the emotions he's feeling right now; but I do. I can see them reflected in his eyes, since the barrier has been torn.

I grunt when he's in to the hilt, and we both take a minute to adjust. I wrap my arms tightly around Gaara's waist and he holds onto my shoulders dear life, the nails digging half-moons into my skin. I grind my teeth and exhale loudly. "Nnhg… gah…"

"Did… did I… hurt you?" Gaara asks with care, and I can feel his breath on my face. My heart drums in my ears and my insides pulsate with pain and pleasure.

I force a small smile. "Nah, I'm f-fine, datte…bayo…"

Gaara shuts his lids and presses his forehead to mine.

And then he starts moving.

And all I want to do is buck my hips and arch into him, it feels so right.


	7. Step Seven

**A/N: i dunno if this should be the last chapter or not, and if it's not, what to do afterward... hmm. real puzzler there. unless i make the 'next step' to be Gaara's siblings finding out that Naruto and Gaara are, to put it lightly, "an item". and another step would be to have Naruto return to Konoha and tell his friends the same news. yes, i suppose i could do that...**

**so i was wrong, and this isn't five chapters long. but i'd be lying if i said i could stretch it all the way to ten.**

* * *

_Gaara's POV_

I feel like I'm drowning.

I'm used to drowning in sand and dry heat because of the atmosphere around me, but this is new. This is… compact. A tight drowning, a suffocating drowning. And unusually mind blowing.

That unspoken bond between me and Naruto becomes physical; it becomes a real, solid thing. It's presently a connection with substance, and it got to be like that when I had brought us together. It feels impossibly fulfilling, as if I've been missing it all my life. As if I've been missing having Naruto this close to me all my life. In fact… I'd venture that this is the greatest experience of my life.

Funny how I was so resistant before. I must've been out of my mind.

Everything around the sensitive lower half of me is sending waves of weak-in-the-knee-worthy bliss. Naruto caresses me by the waist, and his mouth is right in front of mine. Without thinking, I kiss his lips. Then, slowly, I start to move experimentally. I pull out half of the way and return to the cramped, heated space, tingling lurches pooling under my stomach. It feeds my actions, and I follow without question.

As soon as the painful winces fade on Naruto's face, I gain speed. I feel so in control, which is the way I like this position, and yet I almost feel like I'm losing control. It's like I can lose myself inside Naruto. I know for a fact that I already dropped a piece of my reserved self, but it's not a piece I'll miss.

This is much better.

The blonde seems to really appreciate my new speed. He moans and tilts his head back. What surprises me is when he releases my waist to grip the sheets as he uses his legs to hold onto my lower back, driving me further. I swear my eyes roll to the back of my head as I keep thrusting. I don't even care to question why this feels the way it does. I'm simply enjoying it, because it's unlike anything I've ever had or will have.

Because I feel so_ alive_ when I'm joined with Naruto like this; a thousand times more alive than when I was killing others, and a hundred times more alive than when I returned from death.

I also can accept my feelings towards Naruto while I'm like this. And who knows? Maybe that acceptance will remain when this is through. I don't think I'll mind that; Naruto is trustworthy; I don't know why I didn't think so when this began. I was being foolish. The kitsune won't leave me… he does love me. And for now, I can say it: I'm in love with him as well.

"G-Gaara," Naruto calls to me. It's hard to hear him through the blood rushing in my ears and the ecstasy clouding my head. I'm so close to the edge like I had been minutes – or what feels like hours – ago.

"Hn?" I half-moan in reply. His erection grazes my stomach, and I suddenly understand why he called out to me: he can sense that I'm going to explode again, but he's been neglected this entire time. "Oh…" I murmur to myself. I slide out enough to take his member into my hand. I hear Naruto sputter something, and even though we're still connected he tries to lean into the touch. Now, I'm not entirely sure in what to do, but if I move my hand with the same rhythm of my pelvis's movements, that should be enough. I do so, and Naruto gets more verbal by chanting all sorts of random things I can't understand.

It's not easy to focus the closer I get to my climax, and I can feel Naruto wriggling around. I think he's struggling to contain himself, as well as getting close to his climax like I am. It won't be long now… I won't be surprised if we come at the same time.

With one final jerk forward, Naruto bursts and warm liquid flows down my hand and between us. Something breaks inside me, and a river rushes out. Naruto moans my name softly in a tone I've never heard him exploit in the past.

I collapse, my weight suddenly much greater than I remember, and I force myself to be removed from that comfortable place in Naruto. In_ my_ Naruto; because, now that we've made love, he's **mine**.

Breathing hard, I wipe my hand somewhere and draw myself next to Naruto. I lay on my side and prop myself up on one elbow in order to see his face. He's still lying on his back, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling at a steadily decreasing pace. "Gaara…" he says again with the same tone as when I burst within him.

"What is it, Naruto?" I whisper.

His eyes flutter open and a small smile makes it's way onto his lips as he turns his sweating face toward me. His cheeks are perfectly flushed. The golden hairs clinging to his forehead appear to be begging me to brush them away. "I love you," he states. He rolls onto his side, a teeny wince in his brows – no doubt from the post-sex feeling he would have right about now.

"I…" I blink. I'm deciding between saying 'I know' and 'I also love you' in response. Would the latter seem too sappy? Ah, the hell with it. I'll say it, just this once, for him_._ "…I also love you."

He seems overjoyed from what I admitted, and he leans in to kiss the scar above my left eye. It's such a simple and yet meaningful gesture. It somehow feels overdone, like he's been kissing me there ever since I was born. At present, I can almost believe that as the truth. Inane, isn't it?

His eyes drift closed, and I reach for his face. I don't want him to fall asleep yet; I know he must be tired, and I am, too, but… can't he stay awake a while longer? I like how he looks when he sleeps, but I like even more how he looks when his eyes are open, looking into mine. Naruto has such angelic eyes… sweetly shaped, lovely colored, kind hearted, and determined.

Sensing my need to see him awake, Naruto's eyes flutter open and they smile at me. "What's the matter?" he asks tiredly.

I don't utter a word. I inch closer and bring him near me. I want to feel his heart beating again; I find myself addicted to the rush of life in his veins as proof that he's alive and real beside me. Because, honestly, this whole experience – although it's technically done with – feels unreal and all too heavenly. If I couldn't feel his heart beating as he faces me and brings us chest-to-chest, I'd almost think this as a dream.

The blonde cuddles me to him as our bodies settle. The sweat cools and the desire fades, and soon it's just us, like we've always been; the only difference is that we're naked both inside and out. I'm exposed, he's exposed, and I know a new side of both him and myself.

"Naruto," I mutter against his collar bone, one of my hands pressed between us while the other clings to his shoulder. The embrace is oddly consoling and I bask in it, if only for this short while.

"Hmm?" he hums sleepily.

"What will happen now?" I want to know.

At first, he doesn't answer. I think he's asleep, so I'm about to shake him when he answers my question. "We'll do what we were going to do: we'll keep taking steps, one at a time, only in a different order," he says drowsily. His grip on me tightens. "And when I have to leave Suna, we can write every week as many times as possible, or we can wait until we can get an excuse to see each other again." A smile trickles into his voice. "Who knows, 'ttebayo? Maybe the next time you stay in Konohagakure for some meeting with Tsunade-baachan or another, you can stay with me at my house."

I like the sound of that, namely the words: 'stay with me'. "Alright," I agree and close my eyes. "You can sleep now."

He chuckles slightly, his entire frame shaking. "Don't need to tell me twice."

**xXxXx**

_Naruto's POV_

Even after he tells me to sleep, I can't. I mean, my lungs breathe in and out at a constant rate as if I'm sleeping, but I'm totally not. My brain is buzzing with thoughts, which is a first (nah, I'm just kidding; I'm not that dumb, haha).

In case you're wondering, my thoughts are centered on what just happened. It's all pretty overwhelming. In a good means, though.

I inwardly smile as I think about the sensation of my prostrate being hit repeatedly and shooting warmth at the end. It had been so wonderful… I know I'll be throbbing a bit in the morning, but right now I don't give a damn. I have Gaara's naked body in my arms, his hair in one of my hands and his lower back in the other. I dunno how long he'll let me hold him, or how long this expressive side of Gaara will last, but at least I can soak it in for now.

Hmm, I don't remember what time it is. The last thing I remember is eating, getting in a small fight with Gaara, and then making out. So how long has it been since then? I need a clock. I know I went looking for Gaara with Temari at about noon, so…

I crack open an eye and focus my sight on the numbers on the clock beside Gaara's bed.

Whoa! It's almost five o' clock?! No way! That means we've been, um, active for… one, two, three… three and a half hours (give or take a few minutes)?! It didn't feel that long! But I guess if you count all the kissing and touching and shedding of clothes and hesitancy, I guess it would be about that long.

I close my eye again and bury my face into Gaara's hair more. he smells a bit sweatier, but still nice. I love his smell.

I don't regret any of this. I'm so happy right now I can hardly stand it. Should someone be this happy? I'm a demon carrier, too, so I'm not sure if someone like me should ever be this happy, but than again, I'm with someone who understands what's it's like, so I'm sure he feels the same. Maybe it's fate: only we can make each other this happy.

Huh. I keep using the word 'happy'. What ever happened to using 'gay'? it means the same thing. And in mine and Gaara's case, even the new meaning for 'gay' can apply. Ha, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be attracted – or even in love! – with another guy. It's funny. But, hey… it's not like I feel this way for any other guys. Only Gaara. This little redhead is my lone exception. And he only ever will be. Kami, I love him, so much.

He's good to me, too; it's just dawning on me now, but he gave a lot to me today. He gave me his heart, his body, his virginity. He already gave me his respect, but it feels like that increased. Of 'course, let's not forget that he gave me the remaining puzzle piece of his person: his vulnerability. I don't think anyone he's met has gotten that. Yeah, he died once already, but that's not vulnerability. It's something else. No, Gaara gave me the tender side of him, the weakness in him. And that's real special, considering who Gaara is. I'm kinda flattered.

Slowly, my dream comes off it's high and I find myself falling into the charcoal black of pre-dreams. But prior to my slumber, I hear Gaara murmuring my name in his sleep. And I have one final thought: ha, the insomniac is sleeping for once.

**xXxXx**

I wake up late in the night. It's a little past midnight, right before one o'clock. I feel cold, and I realize that Gaara's no longer in my arms. I sit up in shock, wondering where he went. Panic rises in my chest, my heart beginning to race as a cold sense of fear washes over my brain. "Gaara?!" I whisper in a high voice.

I hear a toilet flush. I'm reminded of two things at once: one, that Gaara has a personal bathroom a couple meters away, and two, that even thought you fall asleep right after making love, you obviously can't pee so you really have to go when you get the chance. I feel a bit embarrassed by that second fact, because now my own bladder is nagging at me. Gross… not to mention unromantic.

"Hn?" Gaara asks in reply to his name. He's rubbing his eyes and standing in the bathroom doorway, the silvery-blue moonlight coming in from the window and making him look stunning. I stare as he returns to the bed and sits beside me. He takes no notice.

"Nothing," I say with relief and a smile in my tone.

But it doesn't fool him. Gaara blinks at me. "I highly doubt that. You had stress in your voice when you called my name."

I shift slightly with a bit of embarrassment. "Um, well, I woke up without you there… I thought you left."

"I only went to the bathroom."

"I know that now! But… uh… I dunno. Never mind." I lean back against the wall and scratch my cheek. "I feel wide awake. Are you going to go back to sleep?"

"No."

"Hmm. Then we should do something. Maybe shower, or wash these sheets… We can't leave things like this or your siblings might find out; and I got a bad feeling that Temari will beat the shit out of me."

"Point taken," Gaara sighs. He stands and starts tugging the sheets off. I scrambled out of the bed and start to help, but it's a bit awkward since we're both not clothed and know where the mess in the middle came from. Luckily the coverlet is untouched, so we toss that in the corner and ball up the sheets. Gaara throws on a robe and takes the pile form my arms. "I know where the laundry room is. You shower. I'll be right back after is start these," he says.

"Just another step to take as a couple," I mutter to myself as I obey and head for his private bathroom. "'S not all romance and good times, dattebayo." Lots of people forget about the clean-up part. Or the fact that making love is supposed to be a secret.

The shower is warm, exactly the right temperature. I relax and grab a bar of soap. I grimace at the water going into the drain; it doesn't look very nice. I don't even want to describe it, because it shows just how much my body went through.

I decide to do an entire shower instead of the rinse I was going to. I soap up everything and wash it away, shampoo my hair, and pick up a barely used conditioner bottle. I take a whiff. It smells like Gaara, but less manly. Makes me wonder if this conditioner is for women, or if he somehow makes the scent his own. Either way, I add that too, and when it's mostly rinsed out I turn off the knob. I pull back the curtain and find Gaara in the doorway again. He's leaning against it with his arms crossed. I flush, even if he's already seen – and held – my naked body.

"Is it my turn now?" he asks as he takes a step into the bathroom.

I quickly yank the towel on the hook near me and wrap it around my waist. "Y-yeah, go ahead…"

He comes in and brushes passed me. I'm tempted to hop back in the shower with him, but I force myself to leave and find my discarded clothing to wear. It's scattered all over the place on the wooden floor, and my jacket of all things is under the bed. I don't put it on, but I do wear just about everything else, minus the mesh. I hear the shower raining down onto the ceramic in the other room, and I wonder vaguely what wouldn't happened if I had joined Gaara in the shower. Part of me thinks it would've lead to more sex. Only it would be much more slippery sex… Hmm. I gotta remember that. Because, I hate to admit it, but Gaara is suddenly my new drug: I had a taste, and now I crave more. That's not healthy…

After a little while, the noise of running water stops. I look to the open bathroom door and see Gaara stepping out. Wit a blank face he dries himself off and applies lotion, something I forgot to do. It's also something I have to look away from, because seeing him rub his hands all over his body might make me hard again if I'm not careful. I stand and walk off the desire, choosing the window as the best distraction. It's after one o' clock, and the moon is high and nearly full.

The young Kazekage hugs me from behind; I jump slightly, startled. I hadn't heard him approach. "Hey," I say softly, laying a hand over his. I chuckle lightly. "You sure are affectionate."

"Things change when you bear yourself to someone," he replies calmly. I glance over my shoulder him. His head is lying on my left shoulder blade, the water lingering on his hair seeping into my shirt.

"They do," I agree as I return my gaze to the moon outside.

I like this. It's so easy to be with Gaara now; the silence between us is comfortable, and the contact is even better. Damn, if I knew things were going to be like _this,_ I would've made love with him a long time ago!

I sigh to myself and loosen Gaara's arms so I can face him. I cup his chin in my hand. The fingers smooth over the peach fuzz on his cheek. He looks at me with this sweet expression, and I swear for a second I see him as the innocent, hurt-but-wanting-to-heal child that he probably was before I knew him. I place a kiss on his lips, a slow one, a kiss in which I let go with a small suckle to his lower lip.

With that, we decide to try and go back to sleep.

While lying beside the redhead, I decide something else: as hard as it'll be to keep in touch, I'll find a way no matter what. I can't let Gaara slip away from me; not if every future night I spend with him could be as perfect as this.


End file.
